


Stare Into The Flame

by Lynds



Category: Humans (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drabble, F/F, Fix-It, Forgiveness, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Tumblr Prompt, minor Leotilda, minor Nistrid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 13:39:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15864723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynds/pseuds/Lynds
Summary: Laura stays up late and waits. She's so tired, but she can't sleep, too afraid of what might meet her when she closes her eyes. Can she ever be forgiven?





	Stare Into The Flame

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MagicalStardust](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicalStardust/gifts).



> This was for [this Tumblr prompt](https://gold-from-straw.tumblr.com/post/177598956368/for-the-prompt-thing-gritty-eyes-when-you-stare) by MagicalStardust:
> 
> "Gritty eyes when you stare into fire too long. Humans please! And Laura please, and Mia (because I am in denial!) and whoever else you'd like..."
> 
> (I have to put it on here or it'll get buried under all the random reblogs I do and I'll lose it lol!)

Laura forced herself to blink, lids closing over eyes so dry she could almost hear them move. She rubbed at the corners, shook herself to stay awake. 

She was so tired. But like hell was she going to fall asleep now.

The candle on the coffee table had burned down far enough that the wax was dripping on the saucer, a steady tap-tap-tap as it broke through the dam of solid wax around the edge of the flame. She leaned her chin on her knees, tucking one leg under her. Shit, she was too old to be sitting like this, on the floor, her back leaning against the sofa. But the flame was mesmerising.

She stared at the black wick, eyes defocusing. Her vision flickered in and out of darkness as the flame danced with currents of air. It was like sinking into a warm red and yellow world, soft and loving, with no hard grief and hatred, no choices and tests, only acceptance, no matter what she’d done. It was like sinking into Mia’s arms again.

She shook her head again and rubbed grit out of her eyes. She couldn’t allow herself to think. If she was thinking, she was hurting. Just ten hours after her release, ten hours after Niska, well… basically took over the world. And now they’d gone, Elsters and Hawkins, this tangled family, to try and…

Enough. She stood, staggering as her knees protested their mistreatment, and took her empty wine glass to the kitchen sink. The TV was silent, had been since _it_ happened. She checked on Toby and Soph, curled up together in Toby’s bed for comfort. 

She wondered if Sophie would ever forgive her. If she even deserved forgiveness, from anyone. She pressed the heel of her hands to her eyes, prickling for a different reason.

And then the door slammed open, cold air and noise and people, and action. She startled and pulled her dressing gown tight around her, heart thumping, because every time her door was thrown open like that it was hurt, and pain, and failure.

But there they were. Niska, with her eerie purple eyes and that aura of peace that could only come with Astrid standing next to her. Mattie, with Leo close behind, watching her like salvation, like forgiveness.

And Mia.

“Hello Laura,” she said, that precious smile peaking her cheekbones, crinkling her eyes the tiniest bit.

Laura just whimpered, her hand over her mouth. She was suddenly so afraid. This couldn’t be true. This couldn’t be… good things didn’t happen any more. And certainly not to her. She didn’t deserve them. Hadn’t she failed the test? Oh god, did Mia even know?

Mia stepped forward, and she stumbled back, because she couldn’t bear it to have her… have her _back_ , only for her to learn she wasn’t all she should have been, she had broken under pressure. “Oh god,” she whispered. “How…?”

“Niska’s tapped into the entire internet, Mum,” said Mattie, her eyes bright and fierce and _alive_ again, and had she really been that muted for an entire year? “She downloaded all of Mia’s code in the nick of time, she’s… she’s really back. It’s really her, Mum.”

Laura sobbed, shaking her head. Mia moved closer and she felt like she crumbled as she wrapped her tight. “I’m not… I chose… I chose S-Sam to… to die,” she cried, because this was torture, but it would get worse the longer she had in her arms before they were torn away once again.

“Shh, shhh, love. I know. I know, it’s OK.” 

Laura could barely hold herself up as the wave of relief and guilt rolled through her again. But she didn’t have to. Because Mia was here, Mia was _alive_ , and she still called her love.


End file.
